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Gender Codes
“A gender code is a culturally constructed belief system that dictates the appropriate roles and behavior for men and women in society. Though often justified on the basis of appeals to the ‘natural’ differences between the two sexes, gender codes usually reflect cultural values rather than natural facts.” (Sonia Maasik, Jack Solomon)
In many ways, people identify themselves, or are identified by their gender. “I am a man” or “I am a woman.” Gender is undeniably the most defining characteristic of all creatures. Since the dawn of time, women and men have played distinctly different roles in society, simply because they have a different anatomy. Although gender codes have come a long way since the 150’s, we have a ways to go.
The movie Far From Heaven shows several blatant examples of gender coding. When Mrs. Whitaker comes home with the groceries, her daughter is not allowed to help while her son is ordered to. I don’t remember my brother ever offering to bring in the groceries, and he sure wasn’t ordered. Even though unloading the groceries isn’t exactly strenuous labor, the boy is told to do it to prepare for his later role as the “hunter and gatherer.” The dialect in this movie seemed almost fake, I can’t remember the last time I heard a boy call his mother “Ma’am” or a husband call his wife “Darling.” Kids and adults were much more respectful of each other in the 150’s.

I can’t think of a more obvious gender code than the Christmas morning scene. The boy gets a train and the girl gets pink ballet slippers. I think this has been reversed in the past few decades. I got a toy truck for my 6th birthday because my Dad thought I needed to toughen up. Our generation’s parents who were once the children of Kathy Whitaker’s era have made a conscious decision to treat their children equal. Christmas brings G.I. Joes for the little girls instead of just Barbie dolls.
While lots of progress has been made since the 150’s, somewhere along the way some of us have veered off the right path. While the feminism movement of the 160’s pushed us forward in our fight, the coming generations seemed to have pushed us back. So called “liberated” women have taken all the bad gender codes of men and turned them into our own. On a quest for equality, women have taken up binge drinking, crude language and casual sex to put them at the same level with men. While we might be more equal now, it has brought society down as a whole. There are no more Kathy Whitaker’s in the world and if there were, no decent men to have them. I get surprised every time the door is opened for me and I can’t remember the last time I was courted, not greeted “Hey Baby, is that a mirror in your pocket?” I’m a traditionalist, I want the car garage, the kids and the husband I can take care of (assuming he’s straight.) But the older I get the more I realize that I am one of a dying breed. I can’t help but wonder if this whole cycle of oppression, gaining freedom and then throwing it away will continue to repeat itself. The more ages that pass, the fewer traditionalists there are and one day we will be gone without a trace and everyone will ponder and analyze this age as we have done to the 150’s. We need more Kathy Whitaker’s today, more loyal, strong and put together women who can hold this society down even when all they know is falling apart.
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